I bought a book … that has been put on the shelf with every intention of reading it. It was called something to the effect of My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife. I thought it would be an appropriate read since I am DEFINITELY not the “Proverbs 31 wife”. I fail miserably at so many things as a wife. I don’t appreciate what I have most of the time, I constantly look at the 20% of Jason that I don’t have and forget the 80% of him that I do. I am a horrible, nitpicker who gets in my own head most of the time and who takes advantage of the AMAZING man that I have. Most of the things I pick apart are technically issues that I have with myself and broadcast them on to him. So I suppose this post is me saying enough is enough. I want to BE a Proverbs 31 wife and I don’t even really know what that consist of. So I am going to put it down here on this blog…
Wh0 can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her. So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships, she brings food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maid servants.
She considers a field and buys it from her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor, Yes she reaches out to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all of her household is clothed in scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also and he also praises her, ”Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all”.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing; but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.
WOW! Ummm, what a woman!! What can I say?!?!?! It kinda sucks for my husband because I am really none of those things. I am fairly selfish and I used to think I could pride myself on being one of those women who wasn’t high maintenance. Apparently I am sorta kinda supposed to be… in a way. So, I am on my own mission to be a better woman, wife, mother… one day at a time. I suppose I should make some goals.
I will start by saying that Jason has no clue I am in our room currently typing this up. Except he is standing over me right now asking what I am doing and I just answered “stuff”… he shakes his head and walks away saying “okay, Cryptic”.
Over the last few weeks I have had this heavy on my heart. I want to be the kind of wife and mother that deserves God’s blessing of another child. So I need to say goodbye to the old me and embrace this butterfly that is trying earnestly to burst out of this cocoon.
I have said, since I left Montana, that I REALLY want to grow up to be a woman like Sharon Palmer. She was my neighbor in Montana and she was THE PROVERBS 31 wife. I suppose the best place to start would be a letter to her and a re-read over this scripture… maybe even crack open the book I bought. I will let you know how this goes.
If y’all would, say a prayer for me as I begin this journey and say a prayer for Jason who I ultimately (besides God) want to please. I thank God for him every day… now I want to give him what he deserves… a Proverbs 31 wife.